There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize