She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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