What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So apparently I’m into choking now
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