I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
That's how pantless uber rides happen
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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