I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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