i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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