I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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