I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize