i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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