I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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