yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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