Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize