I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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