The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize