Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize