Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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