you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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