the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So vagazzling was a success
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