i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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