The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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