I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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