If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize