Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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