In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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