His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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