I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize