I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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