Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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