Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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