After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize