Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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