i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize