Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?

  (818): View more from California

  No. He thinks you're slutty.

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  (858): sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat? (818): No. He thinks you're slutty. http://tfl.nu/f63c
  Replies (37) Good night (1279) Bad night (4088)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...

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  (908): i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer... http://tfl.nu/lulm
  Replies (8) Good night (7195) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.

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  (814): Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder. http://tfl.nu/vt5f
  Replies (11) Good night (3656) Bad night (1284) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  it glows. i had to have it.

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  (904): it glows. i had to have it. http://tfl.nu/ygwq
  Replies (14) Good night (5315) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal

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  (251): Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal http://tfl.nu/vqqo
  Replies (12) Good night (2760) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.

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  (951): I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here. http://tfl.nu/bc0s
  Replies (4) Good night (1110) Bad night (2120)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.

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  (702): I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat. http://tfl.nu/7ors
  Replies (13) Good night (4056) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?

  (415): View more from California

  i thought you knew

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  (949): am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy? (415): i thought you knew http://tfl.nu/8kec
  Replies (4) Good night (1783) Bad night (611)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  But happy liver failure. That's what counts.

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  (205): In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure. (205): But happy liver failure. That's what counts. http://tfl.nu/m2wy
  Replies (3) Good night (1437) Bad night (565)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is

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  (715): i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is http://tfl.nu/reex
  Replies (19) Good night (1310) Bad night (630)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room

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  (502): Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room http://tfl.nu/pqte
  Replies (3) Good night (827) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.

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  (508): i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light. http://tfl.nu/7bfn
  Replies (7) Good night (431) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying

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  (401): you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying http://tfl.nu/yu84
  Replies (5) Good night (1307) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I care about my drink far more than her feelings

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  (507): I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink (815): I care about my drink far more than her feelings http://tfl.nu/v6if
  Replies (3) Good night (1379) Bad night (240)
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  (516): View more from New York

  sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day

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  (516): sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day http://tfl.nu/3ryn
  Replies (3) Good night (386) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt

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