I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize