It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
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don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize