Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize