Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
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So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We smell like vodka and hangover
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