I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
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I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
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I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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