Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize