You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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