im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize