So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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