It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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