capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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