I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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