he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize