I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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