Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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