I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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