called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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